I'm Happy
by bloomingauthor7
Summary: Thalia thinks about Luke. Songfic, angsty big surprise, right? ... please read and review!


**Th****is city's just waiting to crack. ****This house is not a home**

All the half-bloods knew that something fearsome was stirring, but it was the Hunters who saw it firsthand. Thalia spent her days fighting back ancient monsters, and there were more every day, but the worst torment came in the nights, for it was in the nights that she dreamed. Her dreams were invariable and insufferable, single minded and unrelenting. Their subject was always the same.

Luke.**This is me under attack; t****his is my self control**

Sometimes she saw flashbacks of scenes she willed herself in the daylight to forget, but her subconscious kept dragging them up again every time her eyes closed.

_I don't know you anymore._**And I**** thought you were somebody else. ****I thought you were somebody else****I thought you were **_**somebody**_

It was true: she had absolutely no idea who Luke was. She had thought she knew him rather well, being with him constantly for the best two years of her life. She had thought he was the first trustworthy person she had ever known. She had thought that someone finally cared about her, that someone was paying attention, that someone would care if she just disappeared, the way she had known her drunken mother would not when she left one night on a quest with no destination. She had never been close to someone the way she had been with Luke. He had not only been her first kiss, but her first friend; somehow saving each other's lives at least once a day worked wonders for trust issues.**I**** thought you were somebody ****else.**** I**** thought you were somebody else****I thought you were **_**somebody**_

But, as usual, she had been wrong. It was torturously unsurprising that yet another person in her life had let her down. She had been dreading seeing him the whole quest, because as long as she didn't look into his hazel eyes and see the evil there, there was always the off chance that Annabeth was just confused, or lying , or- or- something. Something other than the complete and utter betrayal that clawed at her gut like a knife.**And if you're looking to me for salvation**** I'm fresh out**

When he had looked at her, eyes pleading, she had wanted more than anything to just run into his arms and leave everything else behind. Nothing else mattered. But she knew she couldn't do that. She knew she couldn't let down all of human civilization. She knew Annabeth couldn't take another betrayal. **And if you're wanting to vent your frustration****w****hat about?**

Sometimes the dreams were visions of him, wherever he was. Nothing made her blood boil more than his ravings, throwing things, hitting his subordinates, roaring at nothing. What right did he have to be angry? _He_ was the one who had hurt all of _them_. They should be the ones going crazy.**When**** I look at ****you,****I don't see what I used to see**

Where had her Luke gone? The sweet, handsome boy she had once thought she had loved? Looking at his face in her dreams she could see traces of him, lurking too far below the shell he had become to ever be retrieved.**If**** I want a better life, I'm ****sorry.**** Forgive**** m****e; ****you're**** angry**

She knew he was livid with her; her name often surfaced in his wrathful tirades. She knew he despised her for letting him down, for nearly killing him, intentionally or not.

Hypocrite.**You should be; ****I'm happy**

But it was all right now. She would live forever. She would forget him and serve her Goddess for the rest of eternity. And he would have to live with what he had done until his gods-cursed, premature death.

**Why**** don't we just take a step back- e****xamine what you are****Y****ou're**** where the line goes slack; ****you're**** a fantastic scar**

The scar on his face served as an outward manifestation of the change in him since Half-Blood Hill. It represented all of the flaws that had emerged in her absence; all the things she hated about the Luke she loved.**And ****you thought I was somebody else; y****ou**** thought I was somebody else****you**** didn't know I was somebody****. Y****ou**** thought I was somebody else****you**** thought I was somebody else****you**** didn't know I was somebody**

He had been wrong about her. She had proven him wrong. She was stronger than him. She could stand for what was right. She wouldn't let lingering feelings torment her ceaselessly. She was strong enough to face the heartache in his eyes straight on and kick him off of a cliff. And she was strong enough to be happy without him.**And if you're looking to me for salvation**** I'm fresh ****out**** And**** if you're w****anting to vent your frustration, w****hat about****? When I look at you,**** I**** don't see what I used to see****If I want a better life**** I'm sorry****Forgive me****; y****ou're angry****You should be****I'm happy****. I'm happy. ****I'm happy**


End file.
